Connection or Technology
Tony E
Hansen
10 Nov 2012
Technology has been helpful with increasing our
communication capability and has undeniably altered the way people interact. With the increased capability via the myriad
of devices, we have seen a change in how people interact and in how people view
patience. Further, people seem to have replaced compassion with a text. We
forgo the personal interaction for the instant communication through our
devices, and we forget how to self-reflect.
In Sherry Turkle’s TED talk “Connected, but alone”, she
describes the profound nature of technology intersecting with human intimacy
that is worth our attention. She asserts
that messages can be like getting a hug when you need it, but too many can be a
problem. Turkle posits that “if we’re not able to be alone, we’re going to be
more lonely” because we have used technology to replace the human intimacy and
connection. This is a revelation about how people have turned toward using
these devices to building connections rather than understanding parts of our
inmost being.
With chat rooms, messenger programs, social media, and our
devices, technology has provided ample opportunity for communication.
Technology can be exciting so much that we sleep with the devices and we take them
on vacation with us. Yet, is that technology helping us to understand ourselves?
Technology changes what we do as well as our perspectives,
and if we do not take care, it can change who we are. Etiquette of using these devices has changed
what we consider as proper behavior. Consider the perspective of being able to
get instant communication on 2-to-5 inch diagonal screen. Your focus is there
in that semi-private conversation (regardless of where you are) rather than
observing what is around you and learning from that.
It was only a few years ago that this instant communication
was not possible, but easily, one can find a group of friends that are together in a room but having their
conversations with completely different people not even in the same city. Whether at funerals, at the dinner table,
during a movie, or during work meeting, messaging removes us from the location
and the experience of what we are doing (whether grief or enjoyment). We should
think about what is so important that we forgo the experience before us with the
often grammatically incorrect bursts coming from our devices.
In Star Wars, Master Yoda spoke to Luke Skywalker, “All his
life has he looked away… to the future, the horizon. Never his mind on where he
was” and later, “always with you what cannot be done.” Luke was so focused with what was missing
(regardless of relevance) that he would easily forget the graces and resources
that were there with him.
We are lost in our many bursts through our devices that we
cannot see what is beautiful here. Where does self-reflection happen if you are
never alone? Further, real-time observations and notations are not required
because we can present things in the way we want to present them at the pace we
can control. Real-time conversations and
human relationships lose their richness and rewards but instead become more
like annoying attention demanders.
Messaging is good for getting small bits like saying
“thinking of you”, but they do not help us truly gain a context for the person
(learning and understanding differences). Yet, people will easily prefer texting
over talking. As well, if a message response is not fast enough, people may be
offended via the assumption that the bits of texting is automatically more
important than the other person enjoying or learning where they are at that
moment (never mind possibly driving). Thus,
enjoyment and learning of the moment are forever lost in the inferred priority
of perpetual bursts from unrelated elements.
We can attempt to “hide” our real emotions by ignoring the
current circumstance via instant gratis with people through our devices. Contrastingly, some vividly show their pain
and vulnerability in the online-self that you would think their world is infinitely
a disaster. Do these not ultimately reflect what people expect from the
technology or from others? What scares us that we immerse ourselves in our
technology instead of intimacy? What illusions trap us in the technology that
we avoid our basic humanity?
Perhaps, we think “no one is listening”. Perhaps, we must “spend
time with machines that seem to care.” Maybe, something is happening in the
world (drawing our attention) that we would rather be doing at that moment. These
can be captivating questions about personal vulnerability and comfort. We could
choose to “unplug” for a while and attempt to rediscover the humanity within
ourselves. Whether one intentionally chooses to “unplug”, people will ridicule those
for being “offline”, but again, why is that considered odd behavior? Consider why
people go fishing or hunting. Some enjoy the game, but many will relate to the
quietness of being somewhere without disturbance, of being able to self-reflect
without noise.
Ms. Turkle also advocates “reclaiming” spaces at home and
work where conversation is primary. I can relate to this because my kitchen
table is a place for dinner or coffee with conversation, often over a card game
of gin-rummy. Here, my husband and I can relate with and learn about each
other. Here, we can build upon each other without technology interfering.
Consider your holiday rituals and festivities, remember why
you are there, and enjoy the moment fully.
Escape the technology for the intimacy of family and friends (regardless
of irritations or boredom). Those are moments that make us human and they teach
us to use what we have rather than worry about what we do not have. Those are
moments that teach us etiquette, compassion and mental reflection. Those moments are the ones that teach us real understanding
and love.
