Abuse of Power
Tony E Hansen
Reflection based upon 2 Samuel 11:1-15
Opening prayer
Abuse of power is what some call it. Maybe we ought to include the terms: manipulation, deception, cheating, coercion, and arrogance.
This story of David and Bathsheba is arguably one of the most well known story in the scriptures. It also presents a “#Metoo” moment in the scriptures.
We may have heard over the years different characterizations about what transpires here. This however is not a story for us to do that - as it requires honest dialog about dark issues in humanity - assault and dominance.
As I sit with youth today, I cannot let a story like this just get reduced to a flaunt, taunt or a romanticized song. Odd that people would ever want to romanticize a thing like assault or rape.
How can we give a pass to something like this? Why give a pass to any crime?
Yes this is not a story for us to do hero worship or “blame the woman” for there is little agency on her part.
I know some people want to dance over the story with songs like “Hallelujah”, but the reality is that there is an assault that is a result of power abuse (manipulation, deception, and coercion) by someone or, in cases, some people.
This is also a steady reminder that even good people can do dumb things - dumb things that have lasting consequences.
For us as good people, think about what you do, there may be temptation to do something one should not.
There is a before and after. There is “as it was,” and then, there is “Now” or “now what?”
There are plenty of people, not just royalty, that do this. This is a reminder that words and actions can and do have negative consequences when we don’t use our heads, our empathy, or our lessons and commandments.
Once the bell is rung, no one can unring it. Nor does a target want to wait around for it to ring again. Unfortunately for some, it happens repeatedly - often without agency.
What David does here is no doubt abuse to Bathsheba, to Uriah and also to Uriah’s fellow soldiers.
Decisions like this have aftermath far beyond a single scene or even two people.
This was assault - ugly and distortedly simple.
For us assaulted, do we live with what has been done, with what has been lost - what cannot be replaced?
So now what?
For those that have been hurt like this, your pain is real and you are not alone. You are not a pariah because you are a child of God deserving of love, grace, and care.
People want to ask where is God in all of this? Why did God let it? Ask God these questions.
Blamers might ask, why didn’t Bathsheba stop? Maybe instead, we ask why didn’t David stop.
He clearly isn’t where he is supposed to be. He may have given some thought and planning even. Instead of respecting marriage, instead of following commandments, instead of human decency, David does this, plans this, orchestrates this.
Perhaps, David is still impacted by his own loss, but such loss is never a reason for one to cause damage to others. Perhaps, things are going so well for David that he can’t possibly make a bad decision - he cant go wrong. Distortedly, maybe, he thinks he is above scrutiny: That no one can question David.
That arrogance comes, however, with a price, when he takes these steps. This arrogance becomes a harsh reality for Bathsheba. David has taken more than her public image, but also her husband and her home. In those days, she loses everything.
That is the reality. Infidelity does damage - some that is not repairable. Infidelity harms and thanks to STIs can also kill. It destroys not only a house but trust, honors and relationships. When trust is lost, communication follows. Why? Think, why communicate with someone who deceives and who do so especially so spectacularly?
We come back to the question now what? We cant undo that which has been done, but we can learn and also we must learn how to live with what has been done -> the “new” reality.
What was assured, is not.
What was promised, has been discarded.
What was treasured, has been turned into something else.
What was maybe innocent, is no more.
(That can be the same for part for both the assaulted and those doing the assault.)
That is why I can no more listen to that Hallelujah song that romanticizes this with its first verse versus the harm that was inflicted.
That is Why some people no longer wear a particular color.
That is Why some change appearances.
That is Why attitudes change.
So now what? With things like this, what now? What do we do? How does one pick up the pieces and step forward? How do we heal and recover?
Take it from me, we start with a step, then another - then another.
Healing does happen, and like all injuries, this too takes time.
Thing is not to beat oneself up over such for this is not your fault.
Avoid sinking into drink or drugs. Believe me - the problem follows you there too. For some, it can trap you there too.
First, Get out of bad situations as soon as you can. Feel empowered to get up, take control of yourself and leave the ugly spaces.
Then, there are good quality people around you to discuss and get help.
Help is definitely needed here because we don’t need to do this alone. So yes, discuss what has happened, what changed and the questions you have. For the answers to those wont come to those who don’t ask.
That is where God can help too. When we feel alone, desperate or confused, God has big enough shoulders and arms for us. Reach out and find recovery in the good people and in the true Spirit that surrounds us, comforts us and heals us.
Do these things repeatedly and you will find peace that may have seemed to escape. Learn how others have recovered in healthy ways to see how that may work for you. Lean on your community.
Again avoid things that can drag us into the “mudpits” like alcohol and drugs.
When you are strong enough (yes you will be - even if you don’t think so today), remember then to help others find their way to recovery. For we cannot “fix” what has been broken because we understand healing takes time and personal effort. Do these and guide others how to recover from their trauma.
Like we discussed with Ephesians last week, remember that we were once the oppressed and now hopefully have understanding and community to lean.
Understanding that, we can help folks learn how to live, how to breathe, how to enjoy life today, and how to find God today.
With God, you have a true friend and a path to recovery.
Thanks be to God
