Pride of the Bullied
Tony E Dillon-Hansen
If you have not been
bullied, you will never truly know what the bottom of a foot looks
like. If you have not been bullied, you will never know what it feels
to be completely alone in agony and torment. If you have not been
bullied consider yourself lucky to not have the learning
opportunities that those of us who have been bullied. If you have not
been bullied, consider yourself lucky to not need the armor to
protect against what life will throw. If you have been bullied,
consider how far you have traveled under so much duress and how much
you have moved above the ugly of life. Consider that you survived and
learned from those experiences.
We are the
non-athletic, spectacle-faced, different-looking, 4-eyes, retarded,
non-cliched, non-Christian, not-rich, fat, geeky, fag and
queer. We, the bullied, were The Scarlet Letter every day at
recess, in the locker room, on the way home, and even at home in many
cases. There would be no reason given. Even more ironic, when we
could excel, we were still being ridiculed and persecuted. We wanted
to just be. Yet, our achievements and dreams were fodder for the
taunts just the same.
More than anything, we
challenge the teachings of Jesus to love our enemies or to turn the
other cheek one more time. We know in our hearts that we would like
to at least have done to them what they have done to us. We may find
ourselves shaking fists at God for the apparent disparity of
experiences. Further, the people that were supposed to be there for
us were no-where to console or to support. They offered to us jerky
idioms about sticks and stones, but we know, for certain, that words
can cut painfully deep. We have been forced to sit on the sidelines
of what it feels like to be a person because of irrational hatred.
Those bullies grow up
and are surprised at how we feel about them. Unfortunately, they may
go on bullying people as well as their own children while we find
more ways to build more courage to work another day without much
fanfare. We may applaud for the underdogs, comeback kids and may even
consider that we finally
escaped if we are able to leave the torment of schoolyards,
churches, or even our families.
When you grow older,
you find there are different sorts of bullies in the world. They call
you names behind their hypocritical religious views. They taunt you
for living outside their 1950s TV sitcom of normal. They defile your
picture, your ideas, and very being. They beat you into submission
and force you to fall in line. We cannot be frightened of Hell when
Earth has been the definition of horror.
These bullies, they
will never know what sensations will overcome you when people rip
your child away because of some test of religion or supposed
lifestyle. They will not know the betrayal felt when family members
are willing to hurt your spouse and kids because they are not what
they envisioned. They will never know the defeat you have when you
are kicked out of the house for simply being who you are. They will
not know the awful torment of knowing that your family will be the
focus of the many attacks from around the community because your
family does not conform.
Fortunately for us, we,
the bullied, have learned to not live in the pretense of the past or
stale sitcoms. We realize there is such a thing as real respect and
real compassion. Some of us, instead, become empowered by bitterness;
some by pride of finally feeling untouchable by the bullies. We can
question why we could not enjoy days without harassment, torment or
physical torture. We do not want to watch sinister fingers scheme to
hurt us again.
Still, bitterness is an
attachment that should be released otherwise it may evolve into more
senseless hatred and violence. Maybe, this is why many want to drown
out those memories and experiences through alcohol and drugs to
escape that haunting history. Yet, we “made it” this far.
We have outlasted the
taunts and teasing. We learn to laugh at the ridiculousness of those
taunts. We learned the price of intolerance and the grace of loving
fully. We found refuge in places that they cannot touch like music,
writing, religion, sports and even our own families.
That is why we like
personalities that push beyond those taunts and hateful remarks. This
is why people seek refuge in religion because that realm is supposed
to be exempt from perpetual torture on Earth. Yet, there are those
that want to turn that idea into an exclusive arena that is more
indicative of the gladiator trials we faced at recess instead of the
place of solace mentioned in the scriptures.
The bullied are not
alone and will see better days. We, the bullied, have learned and
will continue to learn. We, the bullied, will march with other souls
because we, too, have a place and we, too, are part of loving
families. We, the bullied, will show how compassion works because we
know what real compassion is rather than simply looks like. We will
build better families despite the ridicule. We will embody that which
Jesus taught because we have already suffered Hell. Maybe, the
bullies will never learn, and maybe, they will always find reasons to
scorn people. We, the bullied, will come to the aid of our brothers
and sisters like soldiers because like soldiers, they should never be
forgotten. We will be shining examples of good people, even if the
bullies are blind to the facts. We, the bullied, have pride because
we are better than bullies.
No H8!
