Learning from Animals

Learning from Our Pets

September 2013

Tony E Dillon-Hansen

A deacon colleague remarked that people “can learn a lot from animals if we are willing to see it.” People with dogs and cats as pets have an idea of what she was saying. For my own, I found a ready example in one our cats, Mr. Snuggles, whom earns his name well. There are many ways that Mr. Snuggles offers helpful, often cuddly, “advice” to life, and let us review a couple of them here.

First, there is time to enjoy the opportunities in life; Mr. Snuggles will meow until you give him attention when you walk in the door to let you know that he has been waiting all day for one of us to come home. When we sit down on the couch or are sitting at the table having coffee, he finds the opportunity to snuggle in an open lap or just simply wanting to enjoy the time with us. How many times have we gone through a day looking for tomorrow, the weekend, or maybe wondering why there was so much anxiety in life? Simply enjoying the moment can help us to collect our thoughts, to relieve tensions, and to consider what needs to be done in some cases. Yet, most of all, enjoying the moment is where we are now and that moment offers opportunities that we can savor, if we allow them.

Enjoy the opportunities to play. A boring day is suddenly exciting when we bring out his toys or when the other cats start to play. We can see this extend to our lives at work or at home where just a few moments of break from a task can help ease concerns. Further, exercise is well documented as an aid to help with increasing brain, muscle, joint, and sensory functions. Exercise does not have to be all work as one can have fun or just play.

Enjoy your meal and be thankful for what you have. Part of growing up in a working class home, we did not have many fancy meals, but we were grateful to have what we had, except maybe when the meal was liver and onions. Pets are not going to be near as fussy as people over food. They will be excited for the food during preparation and they will be willing to dive right into the meal. With so many people in the world suffering from hunger, we can be grateful for the food that we have to eat and be grateful to people that are preparing that food. Even in a restaurant that served poor food, one does not need to get bent out of shape in reaction. Being thankful for the food and effort at first may help to defuse some situations.

There is always time for a nap. Snuggles loves his lap time, his meals and his naps. He will find a bed in the most unique places around the house with a few favorite locations. That is when not eating, playing or looking for attention; Snuggles finds time for a good snooze. Especially after a long day, we need to be reminded of our own animal needs for rest. We can go through life always busy and working, but if we do not give ourselves adequate rest, we sacrifice our own work quality and productivity.

Dogs and cats are not afraid to show their feelings, and they move on from events quicker than humans. They will communicate when they are excited, stressed, and in pain. Communication is important, and as I noted in my previous column, communication benefits more than just oneself. Also, cats and dogs are not attached to pride or self-importance in the way we humans are. They may or may not foresee an outcome to a situation, but the expression they exhibit is about what they value most (e.g. security, companionship, or excitement), rather than ego, material goods or pride. Even when they have been scolded for doing something and regardless of whether they recognize what they did, they will try to apologize quickly for the supposed transgression (and often with a nose nudge).

That leads to their most valuable lesson that our pets can teach us. Most of all, cats and dogs are willing to love without condition. From the moment I saw Mr. Snuggles at the ARL, he came right up to me, rubbed next to me, and jumped right into my lap like he was waiting just for me. Little did I know, he is willing to snuggle up to most anyone, thus his name. He did not care about the type of clothes I wore, did not care about the kind of car I drove, nor even care how I looked. Today, he might showcase some jealousy when we are tending to one of our other pets or to other tasks around the house, but he is ready to love and to snuggle at a moment’s notice.  Sometimes clothes, cars, money, or things of the like just do not matter.

Non-attachment, communication, finding time for those important things in life, and loving unconditionally are aspects of life that people are too easily willing to overlook in search of some other ideal.  Yet, our own pets can show us how happy one can be with having these things regardless of house size, car styles, or elsewise. We see this type of philosophy from various other sources including remarks from Alan Watts when he says that a “plant doesn't know that it is growing, it just grows.” This may seem ridiculous to some people. Yet, if you are willing really learn what to expect in life and what you can gain from your existence, there are many lessons that we can learn from our pets in how they approach life.

"Problems that remain persistently insoluble should always be suspected as questions asked int he wrong way." - Alan Watts

Relating to Discomfort

Relating to Discomfort

August 2013

Tony E Dillon-Hansen

In dreams and fantasies, we would like to live in luxurious settings and lazy beaches or tending to our favorite hobbies every day of our waking existence. We, all, would love to have no problems and no worries. We would love to love, to believe, to act, to talk or to think without distress or pain. Rev. Cameron Barr remarked in sermon, “It’s not love at all if it’s so plain and simple and nice that the truth isn’t welcome.” The challenge is not that we want peaceful existence or how we may characterize good love. The challenge is not to avoid fear, anger, or uncertainty but also how we “relate to discomfort” because there is something to learn in discomfort.

Things left unsaid, undone, half-done, or avoided can be destructive to our own being. If we are constantly avoiding challenges to our lives, we may miss great opportunities to learn what can be improved in ourselves. Uncomfortable things do not have to be always confrontational, but we can choose the manner in which things are questioned. Perhaps, we, ourselves, were subjecting incorrect assumptions upon a situation. Perhaps, what was unfamiliar to us was frightening but something worth more research. By avoiding the questions around the event(s), we would never learn the intricate details of thinking differently. We can challenge our own viewpoints without sacrificing the essence of who we are, and we might just improve how we interpret the world.

Things left unsaid might need to consider if we our taking ourselves too seriously over matters. That is why I like the character Goofy from Disney to remind me that things I do and say are as well goofy. That recognition should also come with a willingness to temper oneself and accept when I am wrong.

We may consider that our words may be harmful to the person(s) causing our current discomfort. We may think that our thoughts may be considered controversial or may “ruffle feathers” that we think should not be. We know many examples of this when working as part of teams. We may observe patterns that are causing issues (may even choose only to reveal our concerns to select people), but then we do not share them with the people that can help to make a positive impact. When we do this, we rob people, or the whole team, of their potential growth. A project can easily get sidetracked or worse if the team lose focus or if team leaders focus upon bad targets. Would the Titanic have arrived in New York if officers questioned the Captain's decisions?

We could see a spouse or significant-other doing or saying something troubling to us. Communication is important here because you could go down the long path of regret and anger over a simple misunderstanding while nothing changes during silence. Also, such matters could get worse.

In some cases, things left unsaid can result in someone else's pain, injustice or misery. Maybe, we do not think our place is to say anything. Perhaps, we should speak up when great injustices are before us. Maybe, we did not believe we had the authority to challenge someone. This can happen when someone with supposed authority or superiority is doing the injustice, and we struggle to find our proper place in the discussion. Yet, we know too well what happens when someone is being abused and no one is there to help. If you have the opportunity to correct an injustice, Time will see that you are vindicated. Clever sounding rhetoric or show of muscle by bullies is no match for the truth that true justice and love brings.

Maybe, we should just quietly live without instigating anything. There are, of course, remedies for forgetting pain through drugs, alcohol, and dangerous behaviors (even conducting our own version of the pain to someone else). Then, we may find ourselves painfully attached to yet another grievance. With these, the path of fear and violence is that of more fear and more violence whether we internalize such or we allow the environment to continue around us. Further, we remove ourselves from the world both in mind and body through the supposed escapes while maintaining our anxiety and angers because none of these techniques results in quieting of the mind.

I, like the minister and most everyone, want people to like me and that throwing a concern into the open may seem to jeopardize those kind views. Yet, maybe that is not what we should want; that to act only in accordance with other peoples’ wishes.

When we do not speak out, we could find ourselves building walls with mirrors around ourselves because we take too much stock in what we currently think. Our ability to learn and to grow diminishes when we do not challenge our own comfort zones.

We do not have to judge others for not also trying, but we can be an example of how this can work as revealed within ourselves to ourselves. Karma has a way of showing these traits to others.

Who we are is what we do, not just what we say (but words can go a long way to help.) We may like pleasantries of nice, professionalism exhibited, or simply to live in peace. Yet, when moments arrive that demand justice, we cannot be in peace if we let them go on without rebuke. We do not need and should not justify our existence or the rights of anyone else, but sometimes we must. Again, we do not have to be confrontational, we should be willing to remind people the value and worth of every soul. Justice deserves its day before the collective good, and anyone not willing to recognize that also does not understand love or justice.

 If we decide to be silent about injustice, we help no one increase their being. That is the absence of justice or love if not utter selfishness. Yet love is sometimes an act of discomfort.