Abuse of Power - 2 Samuel 11 - Proper 12 Year B

Abuse of Power

Tony E Hansen

Reflection based upon 2 Samuel 11:1-15

Opening prayer 

Abuse of power is what some call it. Maybe we ought to include the terms: manipulation, deception, cheating, coercion, and arrogance.

This story of David and Bathsheba is arguably one of the most well known story in the scriptures. It also presents a “#Metoo” moment in the scriptures.

We may have heard over the years different characterizations about what transpires here. This however is not a story for us to do that - as it requires honest dialog about dark issues in humanity - assault and dominance.

As I sit with youth today, I cannot let a story like this just get reduced to a flaunt, taunt or a romanticized song. Odd that people would ever want to romanticize a thing like assault or rape.

How can we give a pass to something like this? Why give a pass to any crime?

Yes this is not a story for us to do hero worship or “blame the woman” for there is little agency on her part. 

I know some people want to dance over the story with songs like “Hallelujah”, but the reality is that there is an assault that is a result of power abuse (manipulation, deception, and coercion) by someone or, in cases, some people.

This is also a steady reminder that even good people can do dumb things - dumb things that have lasting consequences. 

For us as good people, think about what you do, there may be temptation to do something one should not. 

There is a before and after. There is “as it was,” and then, there is “Now” or “now what?”

There are plenty of people, not just royalty, that do this. This is a reminder that words and actions can and do have negative consequences when we don’t use our heads, our empathy, or our lessons and commandments.

Once the bell is rung, no one can unring it. Nor does a target want to wait around for it to ring again. Unfortunately for some, it happens repeatedly - often without agency. 

What David does here is no doubt abuse to Bathsheba, to Uriah and also to Uriah’s fellow soldiers.

Decisions like this have aftermath far beyond a single scene or even two people. 

This was assault - ugly and distortedly simple.

For us assaulted, do we live with what has been done, with what has been lost - what cannot be replaced? 

So now what?

For those that have been hurt like this, your pain is real and you are not alone. You are not a pariah because you are a child of God deserving of love, grace, and care.

People want to ask where is God in all of this? Why did God let it? Ask God these questions. 

Blamers might ask, why didn’t Bathsheba stop? Maybe instead, we ask why didn’t David stop.

He clearly isn’t where he is supposed to be. He may have given some thought and planning even. Instead of respecting marriage, instead of following commandments, instead of human decency, David does this, plans this, orchestrates this.

Perhaps, David is still impacted by his own loss, but such loss is never a reason for one to cause damage to others. Perhaps, things are going so well for David that he can’t possibly make a bad decision - he cant go wrong. Distortedly, maybe, he thinks he is above scrutiny: That no one can question David.

That arrogance comes, however, with a price, when he takes these steps. This arrogance becomes a harsh reality for Bathsheba. David has taken more than her public image, but also her husband and her home. In those days, she loses everything.

That is the reality. Infidelity does damage - some that is not repairable. Infidelity harms and thanks to STIs can also kill. It destroys not only a house but trust, honors and relationships. When trust is lost, communication follows. Why? Think, why communicate with someone who deceives and who do so especially so spectacularly?  

We come back to the question now what? We cant undo that which has been done, but we can learn and also we must learn how to live with what has been done -> the “new” reality. 

What was assured, is not. 

What was promised, has been discarded.

What was treasured, has been turned into something else.

What was maybe innocent, is no more.

(That can be the same for part for both the assaulted and those doing the assault.)

That is why I can no more listen to that Hallelujah song that romanticizes this with its first verse versus the harm that was inflicted.

That is Why some people no longer wear a particular color. 

That is Why some change appearances.

That is Why attitudes change.

So now what? With things like this, what now? What do we do? How does one pick up the pieces and step forward? How do we heal and recover?

Take it from me, we start with a step, then another - then another.

Healing does happen, and like all injuries, this too takes time. 

Thing is not to beat oneself up over such for this is not your fault. 

Avoid sinking into drink or drugs. Believe me - the problem follows you there too. For some, it can trap you there too.

First, Get out of bad situations as soon as you can. Feel empowered to get up, take control of yourself and leave the ugly spaces. 

Then, there are good quality people around you to discuss and get help. 

Help is definitely needed here because we don’t need to do this alone. So yes, discuss what has happened, what changed and the questions you have.  For the answers to those wont come to those who don’t ask.

That is where God can help too. When we feel alone, desperate or confused, God has big enough shoulders and arms for us. Reach out and find recovery in the good people and in the true Spirit that surrounds us, comforts us and heals us.

Do these things repeatedly and you will find peace that may have seemed to escape. Learn how others have recovered in healthy ways to see how that may work for you. Lean on your community.

Again avoid things that can drag us into the “mudpits” like alcohol and drugs. 

When you are strong enough (yes you will be - even if you don’t think so today), remember then to help others find their way to recovery. For we cannot “fix” what has been broken because we understand healing takes time and personal effort. Do these and guide others how to recover from their trauma.

Like we discussed with Ephesians last week, remember that we were once the oppressed and now hopefully have understanding and community to lean. 

Understanding that, we can help folks learn how to live, how to breathe, how to enjoy life today, and how to find God today.

With God, you have a true friend and a path to recovery.

Thanks be to God

Unity, inclusion and remembrance - Ephesians 2 - Proper 11B

Unity, inclusion and remembrance 

Tony E Hansen

Sermon based upon Ephesians 2:11-22

Opening prayer 

The letter to Ephesus states “ you are no longer strangers and aliens but you are fellow citizens with the saints “

Why this is important is because we were separated from God once ourselves as aliens and “strangers to the covenants of promise…”

This is a call to unity, to be inclusive, as well as to remembrance.

Unity is a word that folks throw around when people wants others to simply fall in line. Yet unity is not just everyone think the same or talking the same. Unity is an essence of people that seeks to identify who we are , what we do , where we live and what we wear.

People do this all the time but instead of unity folks use such to divide into camps - us vs them - you vs me. That division then separates more than just people but communities, schools, families and yes churches . 

Rather than finding what is common and good in us people seek to identify what is different and then use that as a wedge to get further apart.

The result can be and has been catastrophic, holocausts and destructive.

This letter to Ephesus wants to unite a fractured and divided church and a divided community- much like what we witness today.

Our community is divided so much that people admonish And prepare violence in order to settle disagreements. Some like the shooter at the rally see violence as the only means to solve this division.

Rather than allowing people to have different opinions or ideas, voices tell us to de-humanize and belittle them instead of learning from them.

Yes, our community is divided with monster barriers rising to make it even more difficult to see the people on the other sides. We have many ways to exclude whether by class, immigration, status, race, orientation, or gender or make up any reason and make it stick.

Yet, God made all of us children with rights and privileges. God wants us to celebrate those uniqueness  not use them against each other. 

For love is blind to differences because love is a gift from God. We must lean into our faith that God know the plan better than we think we do.

Who among us can say otherwise and be truthful?

So yes, Paul calls upon us to remember our history. Times when people struggled to be included or to be a part of the community.

God calls us to remember the gifts we have been given and for us to share them - rather than to hoard them or exclude.

For people speak many languages, have unique cultures,- look different, dress different, and express love in unique ways. These are beautiful expressions of God and of God’s love.

I see this so well in the faces of the youth and the mentors of Dream Team, of volunteers of UBFM as well as the people we serve on the streets. I hear the beautiful expression from the voices of the Gay Men’s Chorus and witness the inclusive welcome in the Interfaith Alliance.

That is because in each of these is a place where people can be the beautiful expression that God has given them. Each of these is a safe place for that expression to flourish , to reveal the gifts they have been given - so that we might also learn from them for how we might use our gifts.

This is also a remembrance - for those who came before us- those who were denied and told not today- those who were deprived of love because broken human baggage.

The letter to Ephesus is an acknowledgment that history has had moments that did not show humanity at its best- where God’s love seemed distant. Yet that is not a reason why we today ought to continue such distance from grace. 

The remembrance reminds us that people picked up and grew together despite obstacles, hills to climb or prejudices. People grew together as a church and as a community when we become more than division- when we include - that is unity. 

The remembrance then is also to keep that in mind when we look forward.

We are no longer aliens from each other but fellow citizens and children of God.

That is…

Thanks be to God

Should I Forgive - Mark 5 (w 2 Samuel 1) - Proper 8B

Should I Forgive?

Tony E Dillon Hansen

Reflection based upon Mark 5: 21-43, 2 Samuel 1:1-27

Opening Prayer

The lesson today involves two different woman with few details other than their particular conditions. 

First, a young daughter who is sick and dying and her family has some privilege to be able to call upon Jesus for help. Second is a woman who has a condition that causes her to be isolated from society and questions whether to even try to ask for help.  

Of the second, we know this because the purity laws of the time discarded people with disease to the outskirts of civilization. People were ignored, forgotten, isolated and yes discarded for nothing more than have a health condition, like hemorrhaging. 

There is an action by this woman, who I am sure has a face, pretty hair, soul-full eyes and laughs (when she could) with “can-do” attitude.

“If I but touch his clothes…”

This act of reaching is truly faith that something good will happen. 

The response is to bless and to acknowledge that faith has made her strong and well.

Of the first, people around the young daughter say she is gone, lost and should be discarded. Jesus shouldn’t be troubled. Yet Jesus goes to her, reaches to her. 

Jesus brings life into being both by faith to simply touch and despite the lack of faith that can (often does) surround people.

For us there are questions that rise from these. 

1) Who in our lives do we cast aside, forget, isolate, push away, discard, whom deserve something else?

2) Who in our lives should we forgive that deserve our forgiveness and why? 

3) Who in our lives should we forgive where we have been hurt and torn and why should we forgive?

These are questions for us to consider of the people we see around us (familial, friends or passing by on the street). These are questions for us to consider for the people we have met, the people in our lives, relationships that have gone amuck even when pain or heartbreak has been, or is the current, the result.

Of that, a wise Master once gave me a rule about relationships that I think works here: “Shame me once, shame on you; shame me twice, shame on me.” He followed that up to say we can and should be willing to forgive, just as Jesus teaches.  

Yet, if the folly persists, we have not learned, we have not understood, we (as in I) have let boundaries drop that should have been kept. Yet in these instances, one should not allow the self to be made fools again. Even then, we can forgive, but our actions from there must change because we should not live with more folly. 

Learn from our mistakes unless we mean to be more a fool.

We can stand in witness to the power of two people that rise to immense challenges and find purpose with each, like in the story of David and Jonathan. Their bond is so powerful and intense. This funeral eulogy in 2 Samuel that David gives is heart wrenching but beautiful expression of love.

That story is characterized depending upon how one wears glasses the day they read it. Clearly to me, this bond is love, and one that cannot be denied. This love should (and does) give people hope, especially those whom celebrate “pride” this weekend. 

Many (I personally) have wishes for such love.

It is proposed by Midrash writers that David’s decision-making is profoundly impacted by the loss of Jonathan as David attempts to fill that. 

Who can deny someone’s pain and loss because we all know grief? How can we help those around us also in grief so that they are not isolated, alone or withdrawing?

Loss doesn’t just happen when a person dies, but when something happens that blows up “perfect” relationships into shattered pieces of heart as well as painful torments. 

Standing, looking at the pieces of once beautiful idea and work but now,  trying to figure out the path forward.

A question one might consider is whether we loved the relationship or the person.  

If we love the person, then what we could do to repair might be considered - if the other person will repair as well. Does pain, or ego, prevent reconciling damage? Does pain or ego prevent our understanding of what happened or what should be done next?

You cant avoid truths or pain - all emotional / physical pain take time to heal. Work and faith are needed when trust ruined and boundaries smashed.

Ego is rarely reliable helper making decisions. Further, decisions with pain or doing so with haste make bad situations worse (exception where emotional and physical safety is threatened.)

Yet, these women along with David and Jonathan provide perspective.

Are there people around us that feel isolated and hurt? I guarantee yes. What can you do? Let the spirit guide you.

Do I forgive? Jesus tells us, not just once, twice or seven times, but 70000 times -> Always. 

Our hearts must be willing to forgive always for that allows the spirit to work in us, to heal us that are hurting, and to help find options going forward. As long as we are listening to the still-speaking spirit, listen for that path. 

As one mentor described, that response may be a “holy no,” but it is truthful worth considering. Take time, digest what has happened and know that one does not have to do this alone or hastily.

The courageous act of a faithful woman tells us there is possible; there is a blessing to have.

The courageous act of faithful family to be with Jesus brought possible into being, despite the naysayers. 

The story of David and Jonathan tell us that love is love: a powerful force between people.

Then, that is, with Jesus, possible is possible, and with faith in Jesus’s love that possible is powerfully possible. 

Thanks be to God.