Voice Lessons - Psalm 29 - Epiphany 1C

Voice Lessons

Tony E Hansen

Sermon based upon Psalm 29, Luke 3:15-22

Opening prayer

As I read Psalm 29 and the verse in Luke 3 “and a voice came from heaven”, I wondered what that may have sounded like and what did it feel like.

I am reminded of the lessons I have learned over the years about using voice. 

As a martial arts teacher, one has to use voice in ways. I couldn’t simply ask people to do something, although there were a few times where that was appropriate. 

For the most part, I had to project strength and fortitude to inspire and to motivate folks who maybe got there tired after a long day. I had to push confidence, even sometimes when my day didn’t feel confident. I had to project and to command. 

From the outset, attention and bow (In Korean)! - 

Yours and my attention are focused to the lessons and commands pronounced. Together, the class would grow in the lessons with the proper use of voice.

As a preacher much the same can be said that voice is important. For I can say things with different tonality. Then, they have much different meaning and could perhaps negate the potential of the words’ power.

I remember one of the first times I was in front of a new congregation, I may have felt a little overwhelmed, but I had a job to do. I invited the Spirit to be with me. When I did, suddenly, the confidence grew. 

I brought the Spirit in with me each time. Over time, I got more and more comfortable, and I could feel that I was in a sacred space.  

As I moved through, I found the voice, I remembered and leaned on my martial arts training and applied them to preaching. Although I wasn’t commanding like taekwondo lessons, I did however have to lift up as I needed so that people in the back of the church could hear. I had to bring all of me, all of the Spirit, into the words, and the lessons became true lessons for all of us. 

Congregants have said to me repeatedly that they felt the spirit “oozing”. I am glad because I want them to feel that oozing as much as I am feeling it. 

As a person, our voice (whether vocal or in our hearts) carries with it who we are and what we believe. It is how an illustration of how we conduct ourselves and our attitudes. 

Steve Jobs said, “don’t let the opinions of others drown out your own inner voice.” 

I have that as part of my email signature to remind me and those I communicate that our voice is important and valuable. To remind me to speak truth, to be authentic, and not to be rude.

So how did God sound like during the baptism? What did the Psalmist hear and witness when writing 29?

What do you hear during a baptism? Aside from the water pouring, we hear silence and maybe a few papers crackling here and there. I suppose if we did a submersion baptism, we might hear the splashing of water as well. 

We might also witness the joyful tears of the baptized and hear the Spirit working in their hearts as well as our own.

Beloved, this isn’t some bigger than life production and concert hall there at the riverside. This is the Spirit working in us.

Although we often find characterizations of the Creator vocals as some big “powerful…full of majesty” and booming presence with “flames of fire”, like a thunderstorm. 

The Psalmist writes, “the voice of the Lord shakes the wilderness”, and perhaps, we do hear God in the thunder, and there is much awe in that presentation.

Yet I submit that we also hear God in the quiet. 

Yes in the silence, if you listen closely, one can hear the Spirit working.

That is one of the values of silence that we often overlook. It is in the silence that we hear guidance and our mind working to connect to what is truth. 

We are free of distraction and give space. We meditate and pray with that Spirit working in the silence, when we allow and make space for it.

So that when we do speak, our words carry truth as well. Then, our voice carries with it confidence, assurance, and the love of God as well as love of neighbor because the Spirit is with us and we know it.

The voice of God projects as needed so that we might learn, live and be one with creation and all the gifts we have been given.  This voice is one of the gifts we have. The voice of God reminds us of our gifts, and that voice is right there inside us. We just need to pause , to listen and to let God speak to us.

Beloved, the question begs whether God speaks to us in powerful, thunderous tones or comes to us with a friendly quiet hello, are you willing to listen?

Beloved, God is speaking to you today, has yesterday, will tomorrow and in the moments when you think you are alone. God speaks whether there is silence or many different noises distracting us.  The voice of Spirit gives confidence, assurance and appropriate words just like in a dojang, the pulpit or in any minute of our lives.

That you are reading this or hearing me preach this, listen for the Spirit around you and around your neighbors next to you. Invite the Spirit!

Our Creator is there, are you listening?

Thanks Be to God.

Looking into Mirrors - reflection

Looking into Mirrors

Tony E Hansen

A reflection

Of the recent few weeks, I have taken a hard look at where I am today.  

I feel completely liberated from a past and also learning to establish boundaries that have long been ignored.

Just when I am at the dawn of trying new things and different ideas, I find myself turning and remembering all that has brought me to be where I am today. 

I know that I have made some very poor choices in my life, and I don’t need to continue to do that. I have done grievances with people that I am sure are unforgivable in their eyes. I can only pray for forgiveness. 

I know that I also have made pivotal choices that have blessed me with where I am today. 

I do enjoy being around good people and enjoying bellyful laughs, but where I am going is a road I never thought I would take. 

I dont want re-hash my past but my past is a teaching element, with or without tradition. 

Yet all that I have been, and all that I could be, can be destroyed in only a few moments. I know that, and that gives me pause. 

I can imagine having a conversation with Dad and him laying out some ideas about tradition that I have quite literally abandoned. For it was tradition, however, that kept me miserable and withdrawn - not wanting to express who Tony is but instead resigned to being a shadow. 

Listening to Enya, I found myself checking boxes of what I want and have wanted and where I want to go. It is amazing how songs can inspire this kind of reflection. 

It is opening my emotions to writing music and doing art again.  Perhaps a better outlet than some that I have been exploring? 

So now, I am looking at the friends and people that are in my life, those who I have allowed access to me, why they are there and whether they ought to be. 

I have a set of trusted people that I have grown with over the years whom I want to reinforce ties. There are folks I lost contact over the years that I would like to reconnect. There are folks that I have recently met that have been good for me in the midst of turmoil and life changes, but especially recently, I question how much I am putting into them and what I get in return - not that is a transaction but I am sensing issues with authenticity, reliability, and other things from some of them. 

Who stays and who goes?  Further, What do I reveal and what stays in the shadows? for I think I have maybe revealed a little too much, and now there is hint of regret.

Yet I want to be authentic not some shell of Tony. Yet the dynamics of life has considerably changed for me with areas that I want to continue exploring and others that I think I want to step back already.

I am a paradox, a paradigm, but I am all of me in the flesh and in this world. I have seen and witnessed the good, the bad, the ugly, and things I just cant explain. Some of these are things that have challenged the tradition of Tony, who had limits that I have clearly stepped over. 

I have stepped into worlds that few go but also challenge tradition that is way outside of any concept of normalcy, even taboo. 

Screw taboo, there are so many rules created for our society that are actually destructive to people - meant to isolate and exclude and degrade. As a queer person, I know this very well. There is a cleanliness code born from the Hebrew Bible that people should follow but at what degree and what cost? Also cherry picked as to what is clean and what is not. Also, there is a continuous floating double standard that applies to me but not you. 

I dont believe in exclusion and I don’t believe in arbitrary ideas that should apply to everyone. Taboo is meant to scare us into conformity. I don’t want fear to be my motivation.

This may be related to the grief of a broken marriage and divorce, but this is definitely a mechanism for me to find the authentic and genuine Tony. 

I have lived with and am friends with people on the edges of society, the criminals, the prostitutes, the questioning. I serve the homeless and have shared my space with homeless. All of this has been a blessing to me in ways that I cannot imagine. They helped me find me. They helped me be a better person in this world that doesn’t immediately judge and condemn but listens first. Isn’t that what Christ did and does? 

“I was blind but now I see.”

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful. Later however it produces a harvest for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11

I know for certain that I am better off today than I was when I was with the other person. I feel able to do and to express without being belittled, ignored, overlooked, or shamed. 

I feel genuine and authentic for the first time in a long time. That is liberating, exciting, growing, and anxious at the same time.

Yet knowing that I am looking at another season of Dream Team, I am looking at my current relations and who should be a part as well as my actions and attitudes - whether I am going too far.

For a long time and including today, I put myself out in the world as a respite from all that is broken - knowing that I too am broken. I would like to think I offer a presence that is calming and inviting and listening. (This sentiment has been shared with me from folks that I have known for a long time.) 

I think that is also my ministry training realizing good use in all areas of life. Ministry training also taught me boundaries, even though I gave them less than tacit actuality for a long time.

I know that I have resources now that I have not had when I was younger. Even when I was young, I always strived to be better and to give of myself, even when it cost me personally. While I might like my younger shape and glad to have been a model at one point, I continue to work on my physical shape and more so my emotional and spiritual shape. 

Still, I am at a unique place in life, and I continue to strive to give.  That is part of why I do ministry, UBFM , Dream Team and the other great organizations I attend. 

I enjoy being around my cycling friends, Bow Wow Hot, what is left of the “council of fairies” gang , as well as neighbors of Windsor Heights and Waterbury. 

I don’t want to neglect family. Although there, I have to be mindful of brother-in-law since he likes to do negative guilt trips and such. (He illustrated that in our recent dinner in Ames, but this time, I pushed back.)

So people want to be around me, even though I wasn’t sure for a long time. I was thankful that some folks expressed this to me because I questioned. I had questioned that for a lot of reasons I suspect and not just a person that was in my life. 

Yet, I also don’t want to be pulled into negativity and drama. I want people that respect my time and energy. I want respect.

I don’t need constant validation or constant companionship. I find silence and alone time to be moments of value. I do want the people that tell me how I can improve and those that have genuine conversations - not those who are nose-deep in a phone. People who connect, whether martial arts, cycling, gym, computer systems, art, or just being neighbors. People that want to listen as much I try to listen.

I also don’t want to be spending money going out every night, and so I have put a big pause on that.  Besides, I have plenty at home to eat and drink.

That all relates to bars and drinking. I don’t want a life that revolves around bars. I like to sing and will go to places to do karaoke but not every night and definitely not when I should just stay home. I can certainly enjoy less empty calories too as well as time to do other things I like.

It also relates to boundaries. I finally think I have set boundaries, and I am enforcing them. Although that takes some courage and gets reactions from folks that I have to learn to navigate appropriately, it is necessary for me to establish that because I don’t want to be a doormat or feel used. It does take energy to enforce boundaries, but it is reminder of what, why, and who is important.

Far too long in my life, I have allowed people and lovers to walk over me, put words into my mouth, change the circumstances of events, or outright lie to me without challenge. I walked away from it, and I don’t want that anymore. When I see it now, I don’t want to be around it again.

Proverbs says, “Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men,”

My time and energy are important and valuable. That should be understood by those around me - those in my life including at work.  

Yes I am going to liberate and to have fun, but I still have guard rails. I have not completely abandoned tradition, even though I have walked into areas of this world that are way beyond tradition. 

I consider consent to be critical, and that consent has to be mine as well.

There are prices that are worth paying and we continue to pay because we are willing. Then there are prices for things that we touch and experience and then should just let go. That was fun for a minute, and thanks for the experience. but, when I think about it and reflect, what is the end game and should that matter?  

That tells us what is important and what is not.

I want to be single for a while, to travel and to visit friends that I haven’t seen in a while. I don’t want to tie down nor give false impressions that I am interested in settling down with someone - not even for looks or a weekend.

Yet I don’t want to throw out all tradition. I will continue to explore some, but I am remembering and knowing that I need to enforce boundaries in all areas of my life. 

“Two roads diverged in a wood and I 

I took the one less traveled by, 

and that has made all the difference. “ Robert Frost

And I made my own. 

“That life exists and identity, 

That powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.” Walt Whitman

I contribute reflections, sermons, lyrics and all of my work into the world. Will it be heard and does it matter? How can I make it matter?

So I will be more intentional with who I choose to include in my space. That challenge is to continuously do this. 

Consistency and reliability. 

I am a teacher, a master, a sage to some, a reverend, a philosopher and more that wants to teach but to people who want to listen and learn. I would expand that to include all people, but my time and resources are limited. 

I do want to be respectful while being easy going and open minded, but firm with my boundaries and my focus. 

Mystic Flowers - John 1 - Christmas 2C

Mystic Flowers

Tony E Hansen

Reflection based upon John 1: 1- 18, Psalm 147

Opening prayer 

Merry Christmas! Today is the 12th day of Christmas as we read John’s version of the Christmas story, and tomorrow begins the season of Epiphany.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overtake it.”

Often in the darkness, we may question ourselves and where we are on life’s journey. In that questioning, we learn about ourselves and how to navigate life, when we are honest with ourselves. It is here that we learn the value of boundaries and goal setting.

God has planted you here, this day and hour for a purpose. Yes You are a flower. (So what color are you?)

You and I are flowers of diverse colors and like all plants, we endure harsh conditions from to time to time, but we strive to grow and to blossom.

So yes from time to time, we ought to take time for ourselves, to reflect and to listen for the Spirit speaking and teaching.

"In the beginning was the Word..."

This Gospel passage takes us to a mystical beginning and along a mystical journey with a swirl of poetic grace, peace and divine optimism.

You can feel the mystic notion of God being present everywhere and in everything. This is a profound statement of God being encompassing while also being intimate with each of us as being within us.

Thus, You and I, flowers - children of God, are included in that mystical. This is a divine invitation to witness the mystical Spirit presence within and among us. That God loves us so much God lives with us.

That with the breath and love of God, we are brought into being into this world as a part of the world. Therefore, we are reminded that all creatures and things reveal the work of God: from the trees, the creatures, the rocks, the waters, the vast cosmos and all humanity. All creation is a gift to all of us to share with each other as children of the Creator.

“In him was life and the life was the light of the people.”

Through that light, we can marvel and awe at wonderful, even when politics and broken worlds make us weary and skeptical. We can look into the future with hope because God has given us life and a light through Christ - a place to start, again and again.

Yes, we remember that we are formed in darkness to meet life, and every night, we rebuild and recharge to meet the blessings of a new day. Just like Jacob wrestling at night to find in the morning a blessing was bestowed.

That is why we set boundaries for ourselves to keep out the negative and pray to have courage to maintain them. Sometimes, we have challenges and trials like Jacob, and sometimes, we as people will fail.

Each day, each hour, we are given another chance to breathe and to live. We might worry because we may fail, but we live and grow in this moment with blessings of grace that sustain.

This is a new morning, and place for us to witness all that has been given to us and all that we can share together.

“The Word became flesh and lives among us, and we have seen the divine glory full of grace and truth.” 

This grace will not be contained but spreads throughout generations and all ends of the Earth. This grace, this mystical life, is meant for you and I.

Open your ears, hear the wisdom of God speaking to you.

Open your hearts to let the Spirit be with you.

Open your eyes to let angels guide you.

The Psalmist writes, “God grants peace… fills you with finest wheat, …God sends out [their] command to the earth.”

From the waters to the rocks to the creatures to our neighbors, we are given opportunities in that command to grow with peace that endures.

We have forgiveness to let go, and we have birth into new life with Christ with the wisdom to serve. Then when we serve God and our neighbors, we transcend divisions, and find all that we need is available to us. Doors open and impossible becomes possible.

That is the Christmas promise: that we can be one with the Spirit and we can grow in the Spirit. 

Let go of what you don’t need and be one with the Spirit in this season. Let go of all that is holding you back and keeping you from being the mystical flower that God has meant you to be.

Let the Spirit reveal to you. 

Let that light shine in your darkness to bring you hope and life so that you and I, as mystical flowers, can blossom in the new day.

Thanks Be to God