Learning from Animals

Learning from Our Pets

September 2013

Tony E Dillon-Hansen

A deacon colleague remarked that people “can learn a lot from animals if we are willing to see it.” People with dogs and cats as pets have an idea of what she was saying. For my own, I found a ready example in one our cats, Mr. Snuggles, whom earns his name well. There are many ways that Mr. Snuggles offers helpful, often cuddly, “advice” to life, and let us review a couple of them here.

First, there is time to enjoy the opportunities in life; Mr. Snuggles will meow until you give him attention when you walk in the door to let you know that he has been waiting all day for one of us to come home. When we sit down on the couch or are sitting at the table having coffee, he finds the opportunity to snuggle in an open lap or just simply wanting to enjoy the time with us. How many times have we gone through a day looking for tomorrow, the weekend, or maybe wondering why there was so much anxiety in life? Simply enjoying the moment can help us to collect our thoughts, to relieve tensions, and to consider what needs to be done in some cases. Yet, most of all, enjoying the moment is where we are now and that moment offers opportunities that we can savor, if we allow them.

Enjoy the opportunities to play. A boring day is suddenly exciting when we bring out his toys or when the other cats start to play. We can see this extend to our lives at work or at home where just a few moments of break from a task can help ease concerns. Further, exercise is well documented as an aid to help with increasing brain, muscle, joint, and sensory functions. Exercise does not have to be all work as one can have fun or just play.

Enjoy your meal and be thankful for what you have. Part of growing up in a working class home, we did not have many fancy meals, but we were grateful to have what we had, except maybe when the meal was liver and onions. Pets are not going to be near as fussy as people over food. They will be excited for the food during preparation and they will be willing to dive right into the meal. With so many people in the world suffering from hunger, we can be grateful for the food that we have to eat and be grateful to people that are preparing that food. Even in a restaurant that served poor food, one does not need to get bent out of shape in reaction. Being thankful for the food and effort at first may help to defuse some situations.

There is always time for a nap. Snuggles loves his lap time, his meals and his naps. He will find a bed in the most unique places around the house with a few favorite locations. That is when not eating, playing or looking for attention; Snuggles finds time for a good snooze. Especially after a long day, we need to be reminded of our own animal needs for rest. We can go through life always busy and working, but if we do not give ourselves adequate rest, we sacrifice our own work quality and productivity.

Dogs and cats are not afraid to show their feelings, and they move on from events quicker than humans. They will communicate when they are excited, stressed, and in pain. Communication is important, and as I noted in my previous column, communication benefits more than just oneself. Also, cats and dogs are not attached to pride or self-importance in the way we humans are. They may or may not foresee an outcome to a situation, but the expression they exhibit is about what they value most (e.g. security, companionship, or excitement), rather than ego, material goods or pride. Even when they have been scolded for doing something and regardless of whether they recognize what they did, they will try to apologize quickly for the supposed transgression (and often with a nose nudge).

That leads to their most valuable lesson that our pets can teach us. Most of all, cats and dogs are willing to love without condition. From the moment I saw Mr. Snuggles at the ARL, he came right up to me, rubbed next to me, and jumped right into my lap like he was waiting just for me. Little did I know, he is willing to snuggle up to most anyone, thus his name. He did not care about the type of clothes I wore, did not care about the kind of car I drove, nor even care how I looked. Today, he might showcase some jealousy when we are tending to one of our other pets or to other tasks around the house, but he is ready to love and to snuggle at a moment’s notice.  Sometimes clothes, cars, money, or things of the like just do not matter.

Non-attachment, communication, finding time for those important things in life, and loving unconditionally are aspects of life that people are too easily willing to overlook in search of some other ideal.  Yet, our own pets can show us how happy one can be with having these things regardless of house size, car styles, or elsewise. We see this type of philosophy from various other sources including remarks from Alan Watts when he says that a “plant doesn't know that it is growing, it just grows.” This may seem ridiculous to some people. Yet, if you are willing really learn what to expect in life and what you can gain from your existence, there are many lessons that we can learn from our pets in how they approach life.

"Problems that remain persistently insoluble should always be suspected as questions asked int he wrong way." - Alan Watts

Relating to Discomfort

Relating to Discomfort

August 2013

Tony E Dillon-Hansen

In dreams and fantasies, we would like to live in luxurious settings and lazy beaches or tending to our favorite hobbies every day of our waking existence. We, all, would love to have no problems and no worries. We would love to love, to believe, to act, to talk or to think without distress or pain. Rev. Cameron Barr remarked in sermon, “It’s not love at all if it’s so plain and simple and nice that the truth isn’t welcome.” The challenge is not that we want peaceful existence or how we may characterize good love. The challenge is not to avoid fear, anger, or uncertainty but also how we “relate to discomfort” because there is something to learn in discomfort.

Things left unsaid, undone, half-done, or avoided can be destructive to our own being. If we are constantly avoiding challenges to our lives, we may miss great opportunities to learn what can be improved in ourselves. Uncomfortable things do not have to be always confrontational, but we can choose the manner in which things are questioned. Perhaps, we, ourselves, were subjecting incorrect assumptions upon a situation. Perhaps, what was unfamiliar to us was frightening but something worth more research. By avoiding the questions around the event(s), we would never learn the intricate details of thinking differently. We can challenge our own viewpoints without sacrificing the essence of who we are, and we might just improve how we interpret the world.

Things left unsaid might need to consider if we our taking ourselves too seriously over matters. That is why I like the character Goofy from Disney to remind me that things I do and say are as well goofy. That recognition should also come with a willingness to temper oneself and accept when I am wrong.

We may consider that our words may be harmful to the person(s) causing our current discomfort. We may think that our thoughts may be considered controversial or may “ruffle feathers” that we think should not be. We know many examples of this when working as part of teams. We may observe patterns that are causing issues (may even choose only to reveal our concerns to select people), but then we do not share them with the people that can help to make a positive impact. When we do this, we rob people, or the whole team, of their potential growth. A project can easily get sidetracked or worse if the team lose focus or if team leaders focus upon bad targets. Would the Titanic have arrived in New York if officers questioned the Captain's decisions?

We could see a spouse or significant-other doing or saying something troubling to us. Communication is important here because you could go down the long path of regret and anger over a simple misunderstanding while nothing changes during silence. Also, such matters could get worse.

In some cases, things left unsaid can result in someone else's pain, injustice or misery. Maybe, we do not think our place is to say anything. Perhaps, we should speak up when great injustices are before us. Maybe, we did not believe we had the authority to challenge someone. This can happen when someone with supposed authority or superiority is doing the injustice, and we struggle to find our proper place in the discussion. Yet, we know too well what happens when someone is being abused and no one is there to help. If you have the opportunity to correct an injustice, Time will see that you are vindicated. Clever sounding rhetoric or show of muscle by bullies is no match for the truth that true justice and love brings.

Maybe, we should just quietly live without instigating anything. There are, of course, remedies for forgetting pain through drugs, alcohol, and dangerous behaviors (even conducting our own version of the pain to someone else). Then, we may find ourselves painfully attached to yet another grievance. With these, the path of fear and violence is that of more fear and more violence whether we internalize such or we allow the environment to continue around us. Further, we remove ourselves from the world both in mind and body through the supposed escapes while maintaining our anxiety and angers because none of these techniques results in quieting of the mind.

I, like the minister and most everyone, want people to like me and that throwing a concern into the open may seem to jeopardize those kind views. Yet, maybe that is not what we should want; that to act only in accordance with other peoples’ wishes.

When we do not speak out, we could find ourselves building walls with mirrors around ourselves because we take too much stock in what we currently think. Our ability to learn and to grow diminishes when we do not challenge our own comfort zones.

We do not have to judge others for not also trying, but we can be an example of how this can work as revealed within ourselves to ourselves. Karma has a way of showing these traits to others.

Who we are is what we do, not just what we say (but words can go a long way to help.) We may like pleasantries of nice, professionalism exhibited, or simply to live in peace. Yet, when moments arrive that demand justice, we cannot be in peace if we let them go on without rebuke. We do not need and should not justify our existence or the rights of anyone else, but sometimes we must. Again, we do not have to be confrontational, we should be willing to remind people the value and worth of every soul. Justice deserves its day before the collective good, and anyone not willing to recognize that also does not understand love or justice.

 If we decide to be silent about injustice, we help no one increase their being. That is the absence of justice or love if not utter selfishness. Yet love is sometimes an act of discomfort.

Simple Devotions and Gifts

Simple Gifts

Tony E Dillon-Hansen
July 2013

Question posed to me at recent meeting of church deacons to examine where one finds “God” in our lives. My response is simple and perhaps a shared response via music. In my time, I have studied music theory and composition at university. I have written music and performed music. I enjoy great many different styles of music as a listener of the various tunes belting from both recorded and, especially, live performances.

Aside from a meal, can you think of anything that will bring disparate and politically divided people to common areas or common venues?  One could argue that sports business brings in a ton of money for athletes and the marketers trying to sell the game far beyond an average (or staring artist) can manage. Yet, sports-minded people invigorate prejudices and egos of home teams and favorite players. Yes, many of these have or made their talents be worthy of grandeur; they are still inciting a sense of competition among the population.

I cannot discount the interest in having good competition among people nor that of sports in general (I partake in many amateur sports competitions). Yet, athletes, and the money surrounding some sports, can cause a rise above simple team love into forceful persuasion of beliefs.  Many referees can attest to this.  Even with music, a good performer will find followers and people willing to pay good money to watch a performance.  Some will debate the talent of a particular performer or writer, but when crowds come to see this performer(s), ticket holders (whether paid or free) come with a common interest to hear what that performer can deliver.

American football Super Bowl can be an exhilarating event if you are one of the athletes or if your team is one that is playing. Even among team fans, there could be argued that there is a sense of comradeship that is revealed that is above petty politics or some other gross discrimination for at least the length of the game.

With music, many people of different stripes share an interest in a style of music and a performer. With exception of musicians that have gone “openly” political, audiences go to watch a performance of some piece that became their soul, their song, their passion or their release. A musician brings people together, not just because they enjoy a melody but because the song became a part of them.

Interestingly, sports teams replay Queen’s “We Are the Champions” because we, as fans, want to hear and to ultimately see that music revealed in our teams. Note, however, that Queen gave the fan a verse to sing about love of team. Trumpets and drums are used to summon a call to arms. Even, political campaigns play songs with themes of better times because the orator, especially of lower skill, wants you to have the feeling that what he or she is saying is going to make you feel “better”.  These happen because music invokes common passions and inspires.

Music can bring people of divergent opinions of all sorts together in a venue without a need to be competing with each other.  There might be the occasional impromptu fashion debates or etiquette quarrels. When people come to watch a musician, there is an interest in what that musician delivers to our hearts through performance of the pieces. That is because in that moment of music enjoyment, the competition of the world is quieted for a moment.

We may lead "lives of quiet desperation", but music allows us to live in a moment fully when we find that one song, that one melody, or that one harmony that fills our hearts with all that we were missing. Yet, unlike Thoreau, we do not need to let the music go to the grave with us nor do we need to lose the uncanny companionship that we gain from mutual music interests.

Just as diverse as opinions about politics can be, so also can our passions about music be. Yet, no one would draw a gun over how someone tickles the piano or beats a drum. Even traffic can have a sense of beautiful orchestration when we allow ourselves to be with the world and our senses. Electronic themes over riffs (acoustic or electronic) can be an escape for anyone willing to hear what is being played. What we can learn from music is more than notes on a page, melodies, rhythms, or tempos, but we can even learn how we as humans have mutual interests in different ways from different paths.

There are aspects in our lives that showcase competition among human beings along with community like sports. There are also forms in our lives that show us how things are connected to each other with or without competition. Music is one of those forms, especially considering some of the best music in the world often combines a theme (point) and counterpoint in artful detail. An argument without punches. The confluence of theme, counter patterns, randomness and competition can be found in music, and the good writer leaves some of the work for listener to interpret how that applies to you.

Good artists let you do some of the interpreting, to make the song yours, and thus, the theme can resonate with people of different social or political backgrounds. In this world of polarized communities, is it not nice to see a conductor on the podium who can show how all of this can work together with a whisk of the baton or how a soloist can move an entire crowd to tears with slow ballad? Certain politicians would do well to realize how trivial differences are. 

The world is connected, and music can showcase that connection. Maybe, that is a simple gift, and perhaps, that is an example of how one might find God, which we can always cherish.

Meta-data and Privacy

Meta-data and Privacy

Tony E Dillon-Hansen

June 2013

Meta-data is data that describes data without supposedly knowing the content of the data (describing the objects without actually telling you what the object is). Information technology has been using meta-data for years to determine things such things like buying habits, various user systems, location of the user and more without even asking your name. The question today becomes how good are the inferences based upon that information and should the government be in the business of scanning this. Then, we find that the government has been taking it upon themselves to review similar type of data about phone calls, emails, and other contact mechanisms. Further, they have been using a secret court to gain justification and authorization for the wiretapping where only the judge can challenge government suspicions.

A majority of people polled do not feel threatened by the NSA surveillance program because apparently this data “about data” is supposedly without content. Also, people want to be safe from the growing terrorist threats. Perhaps, people feel safer because they can stock up on AR-15s and ammunition while Congress is willing to send young soldiers to die in some foreign land in the “cause of freedom.” Yet, we want government to stay out of our lives and out of our bedrooms, but we are willing to give a blank license for them to collect and to survey data about us without feeling spooked.

Let me give you an example of what is conceivable. A spouse learns that the other spouse has been spending time with a couple individuals in quiet conversation. This spouse also learns the times and places of a couple encounters and discussions upon learning this information, the spouse may naturally approach the questionable nature of the actions with a sense of betrayal, distrust, anger or fear. Then, this spouse decides to confront the other person with an idea that the apparent shenanigans need to stop. At the revelation, the other spouse is horrified by an unexpected confrontation and subsequently reveals that the encounters of question were to prepare a surprise vacation for the couple as a gift to the offended spouse.

Now, one can question or judge whether the one spouse was correct for planning a surprise vacation or if the one spouse is correct in questioning or concluding those plans. The point here is that this mistake may be resolved between the couple as how to communicate between each other and the levels of trust between them. Yet, the government, via the NSA and law enforcement, is cataloging data about the “circumstances” of discussions and encounters without supposedly listening to the actual conversation. The government is, by definition, not trusting when it is looking.

The question then becomes whether the government will realize when they have made errors of judgment and how will they correct them. For instance, if a U.S. citizen gets accused of terrorism or plotting for a mass attack by talking to friends in South Korea where the citizen was only planning to meet with longtime associates for collaboration on research and education. (South Korea is almost North Korea right?) Of course, under current enemy combatant statutes, you, as the U.S. Citizen, may find yourself exceptionally interested in the prison conditions at Guantanamo Bay.

We know that some government officials may decide to continue prosecutions regardless of facts, and McCarthy's Red Scare can tell you exactly how that has been done in the past and how wrongly that can be pursued.

People are too eager to trade freedom and liberty away, and thus, they ignore an individual responsibility of having freedom is to also ensure that freedom endures despite external or internal attacks. We must ensure that freedom is respected or we may find ourselves at the end of a baton or rifle for some comedic remark. Expect no good will from unwarranted seizures as they will find something to use. As well, a good agent of the government may not want to waste the taxpayer money on a misguided lead, and we have seen where those people may be out to prove something that does not exist to save face or some other false based story. They, the trusted government, may even find a way to use a portion of code to justify smearing a group of people.

Even more, people around the world look to the United States as an example of liberty and individual rights. When the U.S. government starts secretly investigating the press, spying on citizens, or killing suspects without trial, we, by example, provide legitimacy and authorization for dictators in other countries to continue “crackdowns” on their people. This cannot be the continued legacy of the United States, that to teach the world's tyrants on how to ignore individual rights.

Privacy is a critical part of our freedoms and has been defended at length before and by the U.S. courts. Privacy is part of the Bill of Rights. To suddenly excuse an administration of circumventing privacy rules for some apparent security reason is to be subject to unwarranted search and seizures (even an unlawful intrusion) by the government at any time and for any reason. Whether you “trust” the administration (whether Bush, Obama, or even consider if Romney was elected), what happens when an administration attempts to find and then begins to jail opposing viewpoints using these same methods? Will we know the difference from actual terrorism versus strong political conversation based upon what the government is telling us? Who guards the guards?

When such intrusion is allowed to continue unchallenged, the whole of liberty in society is rendered a myth. The future and the foundation of this republic is at question.

Pride of the Bullied

Pride of the Bullied

Tony E Dillon-Hansen

If you have not been bullied, you will never truly know what the bottom of a foot looks like. If you have not been bullied, you will never know what it feels to be completely alone in agony and torment. If you have not been bullied consider yourself lucky to not have the learning opportunities that those of us who have been bullied. If you have not been bullied, consider yourself lucky to not need the armor to protect against what life will throw. If you have been bullied, consider how far you have traveled under so much duress and how much you have moved above the ugly of life. Consider that you survived and learned from those experiences.

We are the non-athletic, spectacle-faced, different-looking, 4-eyes, retarded, non-cliched, non-Christian, not-rich, fat, geeky, fag and queer. We, the bullied, were The Scarlet Letter every day at recess, in the locker room, on the way home, and even at home in many cases. There would be no reason given. Even more ironic, when we could excel, we were still being ridiculed and persecuted. We wanted to just be. Yet, our achievements and dreams were fodder for the taunts just the same.

More than anything, we challenge the teachings of Jesus to love our enemies or to turn the other cheek one more time. We know in our hearts that we would like to at least have done to them what they have done to us. We may find ourselves shaking fists at God for the apparent disparity of experiences. Further, the people that were supposed to be there for us were no-where to console or to support. They offered to us jerky idioms about sticks and stones, but we know, for certain, that words can cut painfully deep. We have been forced to sit on the sidelines of what it feels like to be a person because of irrational hatred.

Those bullies grow up and are surprised at how we feel about them. Unfortunately, they may go on bullying people as well as their own children while we find more ways to build more courage to work another day without much fanfare. We may applaud for the underdogs, comeback kids and may even consider that we finally escaped if we are able to leave the torment of schoolyards, churches, or even our families.

When you grow older, you find there are different sorts of bullies in the world. They call you names behind their hypocritical religious views. They taunt you for living outside their 1950s TV sitcom of normal. They defile your picture, your ideas, and very being. They beat you into submission and force you to fall in line. We cannot be frightened of Hell when Earth has been the definition of horror.

These bullies, they will never know what sensations will overcome you when people rip your child away because of some test of religion or supposed lifestyle. They will not know the betrayal felt when family members are willing to hurt your spouse and kids because they are not what they envisioned. They will never know the defeat you have when you are kicked out of the house for simply being who you are. They will not know the awful torment of knowing that your family will be the focus of the many attacks from around the community because your family does not conform.

Fortunately for us, we, the bullied, have learned to not live in the pretense of the past or stale sitcoms. We realize there is such a thing as real respect and real compassion. Some of us, instead, become empowered by bitterness; some by pride of finally feeling untouchable by the bullies. We can question why we could not enjoy days without harassment, torment or physical torture. We do not want to watch sinister fingers scheme to hurt us again.

Still, bitterness is an attachment that should be released otherwise it may evolve into more senseless hatred and violence. Maybe, this is why many want to drown out those memories and experiences through alcohol and drugs to escape that haunting history. Yet, we “made it” this far.

We have outlasted the taunts and teasing. We learn to laugh at the ridiculousness of those taunts. We learned the price of intolerance and the grace of loving fully. We found refuge in places that they cannot touch like music, writing, religion, sports and even our own families.

That is why we like personalities that push beyond those taunts and hateful remarks. This is why people seek refuge in religion because that realm is supposed to be exempt from perpetual torture on Earth. Yet, there are those that want to turn that idea into an exclusive arena that is more indicative of the gladiator trials we faced at recess instead of the place of solace mentioned in the scriptures.

The bullied are not alone and will see better days. We, the bullied, have learned and will continue to learn. We, the bullied, will march with other souls because we, too, have a place and we, too, are part of loving families. We, the bullied, will show how compassion works because we know what real compassion is rather than simply looks like. We will build better families despite the ridicule. We will embody that which Jesus taught because we have already suffered Hell. Maybe, the bullies will never learn, and maybe, they will always find reasons to scorn people. We, the bullied, will come to the aid of our brothers and sisters like soldiers because like soldiers, they should never be forgotten. We will be shining examples of good people, even if the bullies are blind to the facts. We, the bullied, have pride because we are better than bullies. 

No H8!

Spring Forward

Spring Forward

Tony E Dillon-Hansen

Spring is great time to do some house cleaning and yard work. Spring is the essence of renewal, growth; and a time of beginnings in a season that is defined by constant changes in weather patterns. Along with physical clutter, this is a time of opportunities to throw out bad habits and grudges. This idea kept coming to mind when I heard Rev. Miller-Coleman remark in sermon at Plymouth UCC in Des Moines that “We have so much treasure laid up in the coin of the old order and we live in a place where that old order appears to prevail.”  These words in her sermon resonate throughout our lives about how we should embrace change in our lives. 

Turning around and opening our eyes to the good possibilities of life is repentance; we can unchain the shackles of the “old order” whatever that may be in our lives. The rejection of those shackles (or repentance) is simply the beginning, and each new day is a reassertion of that positive repentance and change. With the season of spring, we have metaphors about what this theme means for removing clutter.

We also know that a moment of clarity (or the proverbial “ah-ha” moment) is something that addicts refer as a point where there is a realization to change destructive habits (both action and thought). The first rays of warm spring can feel like a moment of realization and blessed event. In these moments, there is a point when someone realizes the path taken needs to change. In those moments, the clarity can also be a realization that what one was thinking is not true. This can be a painful and frightful experience that overwhelms people.

Change may seem to be daunting, dangerous and frightening like springtime storms, but change is necessary no less. The time and energy we spend fearing and avoiding change could be used more positively in embracing what is inevitable and adapting to the change in our most opportune ways.

In hindsight then, change will be less fierce and less destructive to us because experience is a teacher to even the foolish. History is familiar and useful aid for the current as well as the future. Yet, if you are only focused upon the successes and failures of the past, there is little chance to understand and to improve upon what is happening now.

Like cats, we can shed our coats, but we can shed more than coats. We can examine our lives by vetting our thoughts and actions today with respect to positive change. In this time of year, we can become a “new” person by turning away from poor habits, addictions or bad attitudes and angers. We remove those bonds in order to transform our lives.

Remove the resistance to change that stems from holding onto the old order “treasure” regardless of having any sort of value. Hoarding angers, bitterness or hatreds do not get you closer to happiness nor does that help you become a better you. We can let go of this clutter in our lives, and open our minds along with our actions so that we can enjoy more of the beauty in the world that unfolds before us.

Whether we have been hurt, discriminated, or wronged, the duty then does not fall upon us to conduct more ugly behavior upon others or even ourselves. Proper amends should not include more poor, unhealthy, or ugly decisions.

Further, we should be less concerned about judging others, should not turn to exclusion via individually or creating exclusive clubs  (especially in the LGBT community whether marked by treasure or egos). Practicing exclusivity within an already discriminated community is like driving on the wrong way of a highway. It is inconsiderate and reckless. Chances are that people are going to be hurt. In reality, exclusivity is part of the “old order” which never had real value.

We can consider spring as a reminder that the path is not always the way we envision. Nature does not obey what we think or want.  We know this, especially in spring, because a day may look inviting and graceful when a powerful destructive storm arrives without notice. To envision a changed and more positive person within us, we must be able to weather those storms in our lives. Here, the difficult, along with the grace, are to be experienced one day at a time. This is because the journey and the quest are more important than the actual findings. As well, the opportunity to clean house or to adjust to a new environment is available to us always.  That is because our key is always within our reach, and that opportunity never closes. The longer we wait to use that, however, the longer we hold onto the shackles and the “coin of the old order.”

In spring, we can celebrate life renewed. We can take each new day as an expression of the possibilities that are waiting. We can find those parts of our lives that have real value (both to ourselves and to those around us.) Spring reminds us that the path is not always sunshine with the constant threat of storms. Yet, we do not need to run our lives in fear of storms.  They, too, offer an opportunity for positive change.

May you enjoy your spring and may the storms along your journey be light. Most of all may your spring cleaning help you renew exciting parts of life and discover those elements that have true wealth and value. Let us not cower behind fictitious visions of what we want or think things should be. Instead, let us embrace what change and opportunities are waiting.  With a clear mind, we do not have to carry heavy clutter forward.  With a clear mind and shackles removed, we can finally spring forward.